Latine Squid loqui coactus sum.

Hello, humans. It has been a week since last I graced your life with some intelligent reading, and hopefully you have not sunk into a typical human stupor since then. There has been absolutely nothing of interest to write about as of late--college is not nearly as thrilling an adventure as I'd hoped. The weather has turned very chilly, and my tentacles tend to become alarmingly stiff when I venture outside under aforementioned conditions, so I have been confining myself as much as possible to endeavors of the indoor sort. I am in top bed-bouncing form, although it becomes a trifle irritating to knock one's head against the ceiling on every third bounce or so. Still, with no feline annoyances and access to books of higher learning, I do feel that this is an appropriate environment for an intellectual squid such as myself. If anything interesting happens in the near future, you shall hear about it... until then, keep those brains stimulated! The level of human intelligence I witness here seems to drop lower and lower every week. It makes me very grateful that I am a squid.

Cheers,
Squidmore

Addendum: As I am a squid in a rather bad mood, I shall now take a moment, as I sometimes do, to register a complaint about humans. Today, the complaint is about the word "ridiculous." A perfectly innocent word, you may say. You probably have even used it yourself recently. Let us think about that. How recently? And how many times? Based on my observations, this word is used at least four to six times a day by the average teenage human online alone... Vocally, I dare not even investigate. This is a disgustingly overused word, utilized by humans who, having fallen into the trap of word popularity, do not have the capabilities to think of a different adjective/adverb. It is "the" word to use, and saying it seems to make humans think they fit in and sound cool. I am very proud to say that my own human, having discovered this phenomenon several years ago, has ENTIRELY ceased using this word and is able to feel independent-minded and superior because of it. Humans, can you break free of mediocre, unthinking conformity? Or will you continue beating this word into the ground with the rest of the teenage masses? Frankly, I do not have very high hopes for the former.

Second Addendum: My long-suffering human would like to express an unhappiness of her own. Generous squid that I am, I shall turn the blog over to her for a moment.
GRGLPLQXXZHNURGHHHHHH. YOU DON'T NEED TO "LIKE" EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN STATUS THAT YOU-KNOW-WHO-IM-TALKING-ABOUT POSTS. I know what you're doing. And since you don't read this, I'm allowed to mention that I really, really, really DON'T LIKE YOU. I really never have. Also, you're one of the people who uses the word "ridiculous" WAY TOO FRICKIN MUCH. Yet another distinctly un-endearing quality. Please go away.
The poor human is not having the most pleasant day today. And Walgreens does not sell hot cocoa mix, which she did not fail to bemoan, so she remains unable to brew herself up a remedy. She just told me that it was rather therapeutic to vent anonymously into a blog that few people are interested in, so perhaps I shall allow her the privilege more often. I really am far too kind. More addendums may follow, depending on the prevailing mood of room 413.