The human requested that I extoll the virtues of possessing short hair. She went to have hers cut today, and is apparently pleased with the results. However, myself having no hair to speak of, I believe I would prefer to examine the benefits of being a hairless creature:
1) There is no need for periodic hair cuts. Especially since they cost $2.00 more in Des Moines than in Wheaton, which seems counterintuitive.
2) There is no need for hairbrushes, combs, razors, etc.
3) There is no need for shampoo, conditioner, gel, mousse, souffle, or any other products that sound as though they belong on a dessert table.
4) There is no such thing as a "bad hair day."
5) Hair dryers and straighteners become a moot point.
6) There is no disgusting coughing up of hairballs, a feline behavior which I have unfortunately been witness to on numerous occasions. I squidded through one once... hairball is a very unpleasant substance to clean off one's normally well-groomed tentacles.
7) Beards and mustaches are not possible.
8) By the same token, mullets are also not possible.
9) Nor is stubble.
10) Valuable time is saved each day by a wonderful combination of all of the above.
I do pity you poor humans, covered in the fuzzy stuff. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to achieve the sleek, aerodynamic look that squids are famous for. Wondrous though my human's short hair may be, it is woefully inadequate when compared to the hairless life.
Cheers,
Squidmore
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Too bad you weren't in Des Moines on Monday night, Squidmore, you could have taken your human to see an AWESOME Bruce Springsteen concert. Apparently he was at the Wells Fargo Arena. Saw him in Chicago on Sunday evening -- now I can die happy.
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