Antiquis Squid temporibus, nati tibi similes et rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem

Greetings, all. I felt my presence on this website was somewhat lacking as of late...so here I am, ready to inject intelligence and perhaps an ounce of amusement into your dreary lives once more. There is not much to write about in regards to my own life, unfortunately. I still enjoy lurking in the dark recesses of the library and squidding merrily around campus, jumping on the crunchy leaves that liberally coat the ground.

The human would like to officially announce that, contrary to previous claims, she will indeed be attempting to grow her hair out again. If I still had advertisements on this page, this post would no doubt lead to another round of hair-related solicitations. That, however, is another story. In any case, she is now looking at two to three years of waiting and horrid-looking hair... really, I simply do not understand humans sometimes. The smartest ones become bald as quickly as possible and remain that way.

The human also wishes to publicly declare that she will soon come to regret her latest decision in regard to her 3D design class. Although it has not yet been officially assigned, the next project will apparently consist of the design and fabrication of a toy that uses mechanical, moving parts. Naturally, the human will be going with an overly-complicated and time-consuming marionette--a wooden, carved, painted, clothed, moving marionette. To demonstrate her understanding and acceptance of her own foolishness, I shall quote her briefly: "Kill me now."

Really, this is not a public broadcasting system of all the goings-on in my human's life. She just requested that I also put out a few words of admiration towards her favorite band, which is, of course, the Wheaton Warrenville South High School Tiger Marching Band. This band not only has an obnoxiously long name that evidentally needed to be multicolored, but they are (and here I paraphrase) the SINGLE GREATEST MARCHING BAND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND THE FLUTELINE IS RIVALED BY NONE OTHER. The human would like to add that the DUMB is dumb and she is still stuck in the glory days of the TMB. She would also like to point out that she travelled 16 hours by bus and 4 hours by Fred just to see them on the field for less than ten minutes. And she would like to emphasize that it was the best day of the year thus far.
Clearly she is one of those fans who stalks the band, hunts them down before and after performances, and jumps on top of the musicians, ensuring hugs and general chaos. They may have cause to be concerned.

After that shameless and biased promotion, I am feeling the pangs of hunger. Until next time, then.

Cheers,
Squidmore

Capillamentum Squid? Haudquaquam conieci esse...

The human requested that I extoll the virtues of possessing short hair. She went to have hers cut today, and is apparently pleased with the results. However, myself having no hair to speak of, I believe I would prefer to examine the benefits of being a hairless creature:

1) There is no need for periodic hair cuts. Especially since they cost $2.00 more in Des Moines than in Wheaton, which seems counterintuitive.
2) There is no need for hairbrushes, combs, razors, etc.
3) There is no need for shampoo, conditioner, gel, mousse, souffle, or any other products that sound as though they belong on a dessert table.
4) There is no such thing as a "bad hair day."
5) Hair dryers and straighteners become a moot point.
6) There is no disgusting coughing up of hairballs, a feline behavior which I have unfortunately been witness to on numerous occasions. I squidded through one once... hairball is a very unpleasant substance to clean off one's normally well-groomed tentacles.
7) Beards and mustaches are not possible.
8) By the same token, mullets are also not possible.
9) Nor is stubble.
10) Valuable time is saved each day by a wonderful combination of all of the above.

I do pity you poor humans, covered in the fuzzy stuff. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to achieve the sleek, aerodynamic look that squids are famous for. Wondrous though my human's short hair may be, it is woefully inadequate when compared to the hairless life.

Cheers,
Squidmore