The human had a rather amusing anecdote after her walk today, so I shall immortalize it here to provide a laugh to the general population. She was somewhere around 44th street, she told me, when she saw one of those dreadfully annoying religious zealots who solicit door to door and attempt to convert innocent victims coming down the other side of the street. He was unsuccessful for two houses, but as my human came close to passing him she saw a little old lady open the door to the next house. Apparently she listened to him for all of ten seconds before she began yelling at him to "Get the [heck] off of my porch, you can take your [gol' darned] book and go to [hades]--" (since I take the utmost care to live a G-rated life, I censored the geriatric's crude language to protect your innocence). And then, to my human's glee, the old bag rolled up the newspaper she had been holding and attempted to beat the zealot around the head! My human had paused to watch the drama unfold, but when she burst into laughter at the sight of this ancient hero's antics she felt it was best to continue moving, lest the crusader launch into a safer conversion attempt (my human, unlike the geriatric, was not armed). It is always good to watch a wrinkled old prune beat the living daylights out of a religious soliciter. If there is a more irritating creature alive, I have yet to learn of it.
Cheers and rolled-up newspapers,
Squidmore
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Gimme that ol' time religion, let's have a "come to jesus meeting", praise Yahweh, Jehovah's witness, do unto others, the golden rule -- that's just a hoot and a half!
ReplyDeletepraise the lard and pass the potatuhs!
ReplyDeletewhen i was yer age, we had to walk to church at the crack o' dawn every morning uphill both ways carrying a cow AND a bible and bibles were heavier in those days cause they weren't all cut up and edited back then.
ReplyDeleteehhhh the good days.